"What Women Don't Understad About Guys"
By Dave Barry

Contrary to what many women believe, it's easy to develop a long-term, intimate and mutually fulfilling relationship with a guy. Of course, this guy has to be a Labrador Retriever. With human guys, it's extremely difficult. This is because guys don't really grasp what women mean by the term relationship.

Let's say a guy named Roger asks a women named Elaine out to a movie. She accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later, he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and soon neither is seeing anybody else.

Then one evening, when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine. She says: "Do you realize that we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

Silence fills the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself, "Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he feels confined by our relationship. Maybe he thinks that I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation."

And Roger is thinking: "Gosh. Six Months."

And Elaine is thinking: "But hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really know this person?"

And Roger is thinking: "So that means it was... let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means... lemme check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here."

And Elaine is thinking: "He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship—more intimacy, more commitment. Maybe he senses my reservations. Yes, that's it. He's afraid of being rejected."

And Roger is thinking: "I'm going to have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say—it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent, thieving cretins six hundred dollars!"

And Elaine is thinking: "He's angry, and I don't blame him. I'd be angry too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure."

And Roger is thinking: "They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's what they're gonna say!"

And Elaine is thinking: "Maybe I'm too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting next to a perfectly good person who's in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl fantasy."

And Roger is thinking: "Warranty? I'll give them a warranty!"

"Roger," Elaine says aloud.

"What?" says Roger.

"I'm such a fool," Elaine says, sobbing. "I mean, I know there's no knight and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Roger.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" says Elaine.

"No!" Roger says, glad to know the correct answer.

"It's just that... I need some time," Elaine says.

There is a 15-second pause while Roger tries to come up with a safe response. "Yes," he finally says.

Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand. "Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?"

"What way?" says Roger.

"That way about time," Elaine says.

"Oh," says Roger, "Yes."

Elaine gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last, she says, "Thank You, Roger."

"Thank you," he responds.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted soul weeping until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of chips, turns on the TV and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czech players he never heard of. A tiny voice in his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he figures it's better not to think about it.

The next day, Elaine will call her closest friend, and they will talk for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said. They will continue to discuss this subject for weeks, never reaching any definite conclusions but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Roger, playing racquetball one day with a friend of his and Elaine's will pause just before serving and ask, "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"

We're not talking about different wavelengths here. We're talking about completely different planets in completely different solar systems. Elaine cannot communicate meaningfully with Roger because the sum total of his thinking about relationships is Huh?

He has a guy brain, basically an analytical problem-solving organ. It's not comfortable with nebulous concepts such as love, need and trust. If the guy brain has to form an opinion about another person, it prefers to base it on facts, such as his or her earned-run average.

Women have trouble accepting this. They are convinced that guys must spend a certain amount of time thinking about the relationship. How could a guy see another human being day after day, night after night, and not be thinking about the relationship? This is what women figure.

They are wrong. A guy in a relationship is like an ant standing on top of a truck tire. The ant is aware that something large is there, but he cannot even dimly comprehend what it is. And if the truck starts moving and the tire starts to roll, the ant will sense that something important is happening, but right up until he rolls to the bottom and is squashed, the only thought in his tiny brain will be Huh?

Thus the No. 1 tip for women to remember is never assume the guy understands that you and he have a relationship. You have to plant the idea in his brain by constantly making subtle references to it, such as:

"Roger, would you mind passing me the sugar, inasmuch as we have a relationship?"
"Wake up, Roger! There's a prowler in the den and we have a relationship! You and I do, I mean."
"Good news, Roger! The doctor says we're going to have our fourth child—another indication that we have a relationship!"
"Roger, inasmuch as this plane is crashing and we have only a minute to live, I want you to know that we've had a wonderful 53 years of marriage together, which clearly constitutes a relationship."
Never let up, women. Pound away relentlessly at this concept, and eventually it will start to penetrate the guy's brain. Someday he might even start thinking about it on his own. He'll be talking with some other guys about women, and out of the blue, he'll say, "Elaine and I, we have, ummm... We have, ahhh... We have this thing."

And he will sincerely mean it.

(Reader's Digest, January 1996, pp 109-11)

The Weaver
by Benjamin Malacia Franklin
(Originally titled, "Just a Weaver")

My life is just a weaving
Between my Lord and me.
I cannot change the color
For He works most steadily.

Oft times He weaves the sorrow
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.

Until the loom is silent
And the shuttle cease to fly,
Will God roll back the canvas
And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful
In the skillful Weaver's Hand
As the golden threads of silver
He has patterned in His Plan.

Just a Thought for the Week

Just supposing we started this very day

to live our lives in a different way.

Just supposing we vowed and constantly tried

to help those in trouble on life's wayside.

If we showed by our doings a hint of His love,

wouldn't Earth be more like Heaven above?

MONDAY

Look for a smile today and return it with one of your own.

Give someone new faith and hope - it's such a beautiful loan.

TUESDAY

Gather a thought that's kind - one that's sincere and deep.

Be sure to pass it along, for such are too precious to keep.

WEDNESDAY

Forget yesterday's old sorrows, mistakes, sadness and pain.

Lift your heart with hope and song, as flowers are to precious to keep.

THURSDAY

Offer a word of comfort and prayer to help someone in need.

A little thoughtful gift or a smile make us all rich indeed.

FRIDAY

You shall not pass this way again, so do any good you can do.

Don't put off till tomorrow or the chance may be lost for you.

SATURDAY

Today will soon be a memory, so don't let it come to an end;

without a smile, a song or just a word with a friend.

SUNDAY

Don't worry and care depress you, or brush the day's joy away --

but rise and give thanks to God above for His love and another blessed day.

(Author Unknown)

The Difference

I got up early one morning
And rushed right into the day;
I had so much to accomplish
That I didn’t have time to pray.

Problems just tumbled about me,
And heavier came each task.
“Why doesn’t God help me?” I wondered.
He answered, “You didn’t ask.”

I wanted to see joy and beauty,
But the day toiled on, gray and bleak;
I wondered why God didn’t show me.
He said, “You didn’t seek.”

I tried to come into God’s presence;
I used all my keys at the lock.
God gently and lovingly chided,
“My child, you didn’t knock.”

I woke up early this morning,
And paused before entering the day;
I had so much to accomplish
That I had to take time to pray.
Anonymous

"Live your life so that if someone says 'be yourself' it is good advice." (unknown)

"Write it in your heart that every day is the best day in the year...finish every day, and be done with it. You have done what you could." (Ralph Waldo Emmerson)

"Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards." (Olive Staples Lewis)

I received a letter a few days ago from a young man, 19 years old, by the name of Kevin Campbell from Juniper, Idaho, and I’m not going to try to tell you where that is, but you could imagine. And Brother Kevin wrote to me and said: “It has come to my knowledge that you are becoming quite old in your years, and I wanted to write you before you passed on to the other side. How is life in your old age? I have often wondered about it, so I pose the question to you, ‘How is life?’ so that I’ll know what to expect when I get old like you are.”

I would say to Kevin Campbell, bless his heart, life is wonderful. And the only way I can describe it is that I have been blessed all of my life, and I have been blessed with challenges and opportunities and questions and problems that are part of life. But life is wonderful if we live the simple principles that we have been taught and if we live the way that we know we should live. One of those wonderful blessings we have in our old age is the blessing of having more time with our children and their children and their children, to have that opportunity to assemble and to be with them. (David B. Haight, “Live the Commandments,” Ensign, May 1998)

Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt. Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.
(Mary Schmich, "Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young." Chicago Tribune. June 1, 1997. Web.)

"So many gods, so many creeds, so many paths that wind and wind, while just the art of being kind is all the sad world needs." (Ella Wheeler Wilcox)

"I shall pass through this world but once. If, therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." (De Grellet)

What it Means to Know Christ

A man passed away and was resurrected and waiting in a room to be interviewed. Another man was ahead of him. The door opened, the man entered, the door closed. The man on the outside could hear the conversation on the other side of the door. The interview began: I want you to tell me what you know about Jesus Christ.

Well, He was born of a virgin in Bethlehem; He lived thirty-three years, spending the last three in His ministry organizing His church, choosing His apostles to direct it, giving the gospel to direct our lives.

The interviewer stopped him and said: Yes, yes, that’s all true, but I want you to tell me what you know about Jesus Christ.

Well, He was tortured and crucified that we might have eternal life. Three days later He was resurrected that we might return to Heavenly Father.

Yes, yes, that is true, but I want you to tell me what you know about Jesus Christ. The man, a little perplexed, again began: Well, He restored the Gospel in its fullness to the earth through Joseph Smith, reorganized His Church, gave us temples wherein we might do work to save our dead. He gave us family prayer and family home evening where we might unite with our families. He gave us the Priesthood to heal the sick and personal ordinances for our salvation and exaltation.

The interviewer again stopped him and said: All of what you have said to me is true. The man was then invited to leave the room. After he left, the door opened and the second man entered. As he approached the interviewer, he fell upon his knees and cried, “My Lord, My God.” (Author Unknown)

"Oh Thou who art! Ecclesiastes names thee Almighty; Maccabees names thee Creator, the Epistle to the Ephesians names thee immensity; the Psalms name thee Wisdom and Truth; John names thee Light; the Book of Kings names thee Lord; Exodus calls thee Providence; Leviticus, Holiness; Esdras, Justice; Creation calls thee God; man names thee father; but Soloman names thee Compassion, and that is the most beautiful of all thy names," (Victor Hugo, Les Miserables)

"Brethern, each of us must surrender our sins if we are to really know Christ. For we do not know Him until we become like Him." (Ezra Taft Benson, “What Manner of Men Ought We to Be?,” Ensign, Nov 1983)

Inside a Cathedral at Lubek, Germany a poem was inscribed. It reads:

Ye call Me Master and obey Me not;
Ye call Me Light at seek Me not;
Ye call Me Way and walk Me not;
Ye call Me Wise and follow Me not;
Ye call Me Fair and love Me not;
Ye call Me Rich and ask Me not;
Ye call Me Eternal and seek Me not;
Ye call Me Gracious and trust Me not;
Ye call Me Noble and serve Me not;
Ye call Me Just and fear Me not;
If I condem you, blame Me not.

"Unless we do His teachings, we do not demonstrate faith in Him." (Ezra Taft Benson, “Jesus Christ: Our Savior and Redeemer,” Ensign, Jun 1990)

"In our day, those found in dishonesty aren't put to death, but something within them dies. Concience chokes, character withers, self-respect vanishes and integrity dies...without hoesty, our lives disinegrate into ugliness, chaos and a lack of any kind of security and confidence." (Gordon B. Hinckley, Standing for Something. New York: Three Rivers Press. 2000. Print)

"...that means being true when you are tempted, being true when you don’t want to be, being true when it means standing alone from the rest of the world." (Ruth B. Wright, “Draw Strength from the Book of Mormon,” Ensign, Nov 1990)

"The real worth of a man is not in himself along, but in what he stands for." (Sterling W. Sill)

(Okay, this isn't really a quote. But, it is my all-time favorite 'MormonAd'!)

A boy was extended an invitation to visit his uncle who was a lumberjack in the
Northwest. As he arrived his uncle met him at the depot, and as the two pursued their way to their lumber camp, the boy was impressed by the enormous size
of the trees. There was a gigantic tree, which he observed standing all
alone on top of a small hill. The boy, full of awe, called out excitedly, “Uncle George, look at that big tree! It will make a lot of good lumber, won’t it?” Uncle George slowly shook his head, then replied, “No son, that tree will not make a lot of good lumber. It might make a lot of lumber, but no a lot of good lumber. When a tree grows by itself, too many branches grow on it. Those branches produce knots when the tree is cut into lumber. The best lumber comes from trees that grow in groves. The trees all grow taller and straighter when they grow together.” (Henry D. Taylor, LDS General Conference Report, April 1965)

"Each of us comes into this world separately, one by one. This is not an accident. I think it's the Lords way of reminding us of the infinite worht of each soul" (Dawn J. Young, Ensign, May 1982)

"Our responsibility is to rise from mediocrity to competence, from failure to achievement. Our task is to become our best selves. One of God’s greatest gifts to us is the joy of trying again, for no failure ever need be final." (Thomas S. Monson, “The Will Within,” Ensign, May 1987)

"Let what's on the inside outshine what's on the outside, and you'll come out a winner." (unknown)

Until you get to know him, E.T. is as ugly as Darth Vader.

"There is no man who is not, at each moment, what he has been and what he will be." (Oscar Wilde)

"If you treat a man as he is, he will stay as he is; but if you treat his as if he were what he ought to be, and could be, he will become that bigger and better man." (Gothe)

"We are all nobly born. Fortunate those who know it; blessed those who remember." (Robert Louis Stevenson)

A RIDDLE

When God made Adam out of dust, He thought it best to make me first.
So I was made before man, according to God's Holy plan.
A living being I became, and Adams gave to me my name.
From his presence I then withdrew, and more of Adam never knew.
I did my Maker's law obey, never from it went I astray.
Thousands of miles I go in fear, but seldom on earth do I appear.
For purpose wise, which God did see, He put a living soul in me;
This soul from me my God did claim, He took from me that soul again.
So when from me that soul I gave, I was as when first made.
Without hands or feet or soul, I travel now from pole to pole;
I labor hard by day and night, supplying man with great light.
Thousands of people, both young and old, do by my death great light behold.
No right or wrong can I conceive, the scriptures I cannot believe.
Although my name is therein found, they are to me an empty sound.
No fear of death doth trouble me, no happiness I'll ever see.
To Heaven I will never go, not down to Hell so far below.
Now when these lines you slowly read, go search your Bible with all speed.
Four times my name is written there, I honestly to you declare.

(Can you figure out the answer to this riddle? *without searching the Internet for the answer?* If you think you know, leave it in the comments. Good luck!)

The military is full of acronyms (PCS, TDY, AMC, etc.), so growing up a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it's no wonder those acronyms don't bother me as much as they do some of my friends. I came across this funny little quip while I was in college. It was contributed to an unknown website by someone named "Ellen".

JARGON

My son't a CTR, I go to PEC.

I work for CES, I study the TG.

I read the B of M, I probe the D&C.

I search the KJV, I ponder the JST.

Today in BYC, we planned for EFY.

I stayed a little after, and had a PPI.

The YM and YW, are putting on a play.

It's one that I remember, we did in MIA.

Before our oldest son went in the MTC,

He helped the BSA, complete their SME.

Soon our oldest daughter, is heading for the Y.

Soon our oldest clothing is going to DI.

Now, if you've understood this alphabetic mess,

The chances are quite good, that you are LDS.

How to Write Good

1. Always avoid alliteration.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague; they're old hat.
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbrevs, etc.
6. Contractions aren't necessary.
7. Parenthetical remarks (however necessary) are unnecessary.
8. It is wrong to ever split the infinitive.
9. Foreign words and phrases are never de rigueur and seldom apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
12. Comparisons are not as bad as cliches.
13. Don't be redundant; don't use any more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous, not to mention redundant.
14. Be more or less specific.
15. Understatement is invariably wonderful.
16. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. the passive voice is not to be avoided.
20. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
21. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
22. Who needs rhetorical questions?
23. Unable to relate to anything, confusion arises from dangling modifiers.
24. Misplaced modifiers make your readers want to vomit in your writing.
25. Onomatopoeia isn't what it sounds like.
26. Don't never use no extra negatives.

This is a funny little story (I guess you can call it that) I came across years ago. Not sure where, but I thought it was great. I wish I had the courage to hold such a conversation with telemarketers. Click on image to read and enjoy!

"There isn't a word in the English language with more magic in it than the word gratitude. Love makes fertile the soil for things to blossom and to grow, and love begins with gratitude." (Geraldine P. Anderson, Ensign, March 1971)

"Thanksgiving is a time of quiet reflection upon the past and an annual reminder that God has, again, been ever so faithful." (Charles R. Swindoll)

If we don't change, we don't grow.
If we don't grow, we really are not living.
(Gail Sheehy)

"Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?" (Robert Browning)

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." (Les Brown)

"All dreams come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." (Walt Disney)

It may be a long way to a goal, but it is never far to the next step. (unknown)

"One of the most Godlike expressions of the human soul is the act of forgiveness. Everyone is wronged at some point by someone, and many suffer serious wrongs. Christians everywhere stand in awe of those pioneers who have climbed that steep slope to the spiritual summit attained by those who have heeded the Savior’s command to forgive all men. Forgiveness is mortality’s mirror image of the mercy of God." (Dallin H. Oaks, “Modern Pioneers,” Ensign, Nov 1989)

A sprinkle of the quotes in my collection here were given to me by one of my absolute favorite Seminary teachers, Bro. Matt Strader. He was one of those goofy guys that also just happened to be incredibly spiritual. So, every once in a while, he would pass out to the class a piece of paper with a quote on it. This one was one of my favorites (I think I remember him telling us that he found it in a greeting card) - it makes me laugh every time I read it!

“Read to your children. Read the story of the Son of God. Read to them from the New Testament. Read to them from the Book of Mormon. It will take time, and you are very busy, but it will prove to be a great blessing in your lives as well as in their lives. And there will grow in their hearts a great love for the Savior of the world, the only perfect man who walked the earth. He will become to them a very real living being, and His great atoning sacrifice as they grow to manhood and womanhood, will take on a new and more glorious meaning in their lives” (Gordon B. Hinckley. quoted in Church News, 6 Dec. 1997, 2).

“Let every family in this Church have prayer together. Now, it is important to have individual prayer, but it is a wonderful thing to have family prayer. Pray to your Father in Heaven in faith. Pray in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. You can do nothing better for your children than to have them taking their turn in the family prayer, expressing gratitude for their blessings. If they do that while they are young, they will grow with a spirit of thanksgiving in their hearts” (Gordon B. Hinckley. fireside, Naha Okinawa Japan Stake and Okinawa Japan Military District, 20 May 1996).

Well, I have not proven to be the perfect father I vowed to be that night and a thousand nights before and since. But I still want to be, and I believe this wise counsel from President Joseph F. Smith:

“Brethren, … If you will keep your [children] close to your heart, within the clasp of your arms; if you will make them … feel that you love them … and keep them near to you, they will not go very far from you, and they will not commit any very great sin. But it is when you turn them out of the home, turn them out of your affection … that [is what] drives them from you. …

“Fathers, if you wish your children to be taught in the principles of the gospel, if you wish them to love the truth and understand it, if you wish them to be obedient to and united with you, love them! and prove … that you do love them by your every word and act to[ward] them.” (Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed., Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1966, pp. 282, 316.)

Brethren, we all know fatherhood is not an easy assignment, but it ranks among the most imperative ever given, in time or eternity. We must not pull away from our children. We must keep trying, keep reaching, keep praying, keep listening. We must keep them “within the clasp of our arms.” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Within the Clasp of Your Arms,” Ensign, May 1983)

"...there is nothing more beautiful, no picture more lovely, than that of a mother with her daughters." (Gordon B. Hinckley, “‘If Thou Art Faithful’,” Ensign, Nov 1984)

"Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It placer her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angles. To you mothers in Israel we say; God bless and protect you, and give you the strength and courage, the faith and knowledge, the holy love and consecration to duty, that shall enable you to fill to the fullest measure the sacred calling which is yours." (James R. Clark, comp., Messages of the First Presidency, 6 vols., Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1965–75, 6:178)

"It is important for us also to cultivate in our own family a sense that we belong together eternally, that whatever changes outside our home, there are fundamental aspects of our relationship which will never change." (Spencer W. Kimball. "Ocean Currents and Family Influences," Ensign. October 1974)

"We must recognize that the family is the cornerstone of civilization and that no nation will rise above the caliber of its homes. The family is the rock foundation of the Church. We therefore call on the head of every household to strengthen the family.

We believe marriage was ordained by God for a wise, eternal purpose. The family is the basis of the righteous life. Divinely prescribed roles of father, mother, and children were given from the very beginning.

God established that fathers are to preside in the home. Fathers are to provide, love, teach, and direct.

A mother’s role is also God-ordained. Mothers are to conceive, bear, nourish, love, and train. They are to be helpmates and are to counsel with their husbands.

There is no inequality between the sexes in God’s plan. It is a matter of division of responsibility." (Ezra Taft Benson. "Counsel to the Saints," Ensign. May 1984)

"One hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, how big my house was, or what kind of car I drove. But the world may be a little better, because I was important in the life of a child." (Forest E. Witcraft)

"There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings." (Hooding Carter, Jr.)

“Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones. Now, love them, take care of them. Fathers, control your tempers, now and in all the years to come. Mothers, control your voices; keep them down. Rear your children in love, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Take care of your little ones. Welcome them into your homes, and nurture and love them with all of your hearts. They may do, in the years that come, some things you would not want them to do, but be patient, be patient. You have not failed as long as you have tried. Never forget that” (Gordon B. Hinckley, Salt Lake University Third Stake conference, 3 Nov. 1996).

"Children need models more than they need critics." (Joseph Joubert)

Faith is not knowing what the future holds, but knowing who holds the future.

"Faith is trust in what the spirit learned eons ago." (B.H. Roberts)

"Faith is knowing there is an ocean because you have seen a brook." (William Arthur Ward)

The Influence of a Righteous Woman

Life is full of beauty,
Though the path's not always kind,
Many times our steps have faltered,
And despair has blocked our mind.

God knows our every sorrow,
And He feels our every pain,
He knows we need a helping hand,
To walk the path again.

A woman clothed in righteousness,
Her manner soft and sweet,
He sends to heal our aching hearts,
To guide our weary feet.

Who with a smile or touch of hand,
Can lift and light our way,
And send us soaring to the heights,
If from the path we stray.

Her beauty lies in kindness,
Her grace comes from above,
With Heavenly Father's guidance,
She showers us with love.

We can all be righteous women,
We have all it takes to be,
We can smile and show our goodness,
We can set the weary free.

By our everyday example,
We can aid a faltering soul,
With our eyes cast ever upward,
And eternity our goal.

(Lois Williams)

“I walked with my friend, a Quaker, to the newsstand the other night, and he bought a paper, thanking the newsie politely. The newsie didn’t even acknowledge it.

“ ‘A sullen fellow, isn’t he?’ I commented.

“ ‘Oh, he’s that way every night,’ shrugged my friend.

“ ‘Then why do you continue to be so polite to him?’ I asked.

“ ‘Why not?’ inquired my friend. ‘Why should I let him decide how I’m going to act?’

“As I thought about this incident later, it occurred to me that the important word was ‘act.’ My friend acts toward people; most of us react toward them. He has a sense of inner balance which is lacking in most of us; he knows who he is, what he stands for, how he should behave. He refuses to return incivility for incivility, because then he would no longer be in command of his conduct” (Sydney J. Harris. “Do You Act—Or React?” Chicago Daily News).

“There was a little crippled boy who ran a small newsstand in a crowded railroad station. He must have been about twelve years old. Every day he would sell papers, candy, gum, and magazines to the thousands of commuters passing through the terminal.

“One night two men were rushing through the crowded station to catch a train. One was fifteen or twenty yards in front of the other. It was Christmas eve. Their train was scheduled to depart in a matter of minutes.

“The first man turned a corner and in his haste to get home to a Christmas cocktail party plowed right into the little crippled boy. He knocked him off his stool, and candy, newspapers, and gum were scattered everywhere. Without so much as stopping, he cursed the little fellow for being there and rushed on to catch the train that would take him to celebrate Christmas in the way he had chosen for himself.

“It was only a matter of seconds before the second commuter arrived on the scene. He stopped, knelt, and gently picked up the boy. After making sure the child was unhurt, the man gathered up the scattered newspapers, sweets, and magazines. Then he took his wallet and gave the boy a five dollar bill. ‘Son,’ he said, ‘I think this will take care of what was lost or soiled. Merry Christmas!’

“Without waiting for a reply the commuter now picked up his briefcase and started to hurry away. As he did, the little crippled boy cupped his hands together and called out, ‘Mister, Mister!’

“The man stopped as the boy asked, ‘Are you Jesus Christ?’

“By the look on his face, it was obvious the commuter was embarrassed by the question. But he smiled and said, ‘No, son. I am not Jesus Christ, but I am trying hard to do what He would do if He were here’ ” (American Opinion, Dec. 1971, pp. 13–14). (Ezra Taft Benson. "Think on Christ". New Era. April 1994.)

My amazingly talented mother made these for us during her short stint in Young Women's when I was a Beehive. She did this pre-computer/Internet era (remember those good 'ol clip art books?)! Anyway, I kept it not only because she's my mom and I love her, but, I think this is amazing graphics work and I love the song. Click to on the image to enlarge.

"The important thig is not to stop questioning." (Albert Einstein)

"A mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimension." (Oliver Wendell Holmes)

O! This learning, what a thing it is!" (William Shakespear. Taming of the Shrew.)

"In youth we learn; in age we understand." (Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach)

"He who learns but does not think is lost. He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger." (Confucius)

The Road to the White House
Abraham Lincoln's road to the White House proves you should never give up.

• 1831 Failed in business
• 1832 Defeated for Legislature
• 1833 Second failure in business
• 1836 Suffers nervous breakdown
• 1838 Defeated for Speaker
• 1840 Defeated for Elector
• 1843 Defeated for Congress
• 1848 Defeated for Congress, again
• 1855 Defeated for Senate
• 1856 Defeated for Vice President
• 1858 Defeated for Senate
• 1860 Elected President of the United States

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful met with talent. Genius will not; the unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent." (Calvin Coolidge)

A coward get scared and quits. A hero gets scared, but still goes on. (unknown)

"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself is changed, but that our power to do it increased." (Heber J. Grant. Ensign. April 1901)

"The difficult we do immediately. The impossible takes a little longer." (Motto for the US Army Corp of Engineers during WWII)

"We are striving for the greatest prize offered to any person in the world. To fail is unthinkable." (Ezra Taft Benson)

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." (Margaret Thatcher)

The best way to get rid of an unpleasant task is to finish it. (unknown)

"No matter what you undertake, you will never do it until you think you can. You will never master it until you first feel the mastery and do the deed in your mind. It must be thought out or it can never be wrought out." (Joseph Murphy, Putting the Power of Your Subconscious Mind to Work. New York. Penguin Group. 2009. Print or Web)

There is no chance, no destiny, no fate,
Can circumvent or hinder or control
The firm resolve of a determined soul.
Gifts count for nothing; will alone is great;
All things give way before it soon or late.
What obstacle can stay the mighty force
Of the sea seeking river in its course,
Or cause the ascending orb or day to wait?
(Ella Wheeler Wilcox, Maurine: And other Poems, 1888, p. 145)

To the Cowardly Lion: "As for you, my fine friend, you are a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run from danger, you have no courage. You are confusing courage with wisdom." (The Wizard of Oz, Dir. Victor Fleming. Perf. Judy Garland, Frank Morgan, Ray Bolger. 1939. Film)

"The devil knows how to destroy our young girls and boys...if he can get a boy and a girl to sit in the car late enough after the dance, or park long enough that at the end of the lane, the best boy and the best girl will finally succumb and fall. He knows that all have a limit to their resistance." (Spencer W. Kimball)

"...even though you will marry only one of your dating partners, many of the others you date will eventually become your lifelong friends." (Brenton G. Yorgason)

"Bonds of attachment don't simply go away because you stop dating someone." (Brenton G. Yorgason)

POPCORN

The first time you notice me

You'll have to admit,

I have an outside

As hard as grit.

No amount of force

Or pressure,

Can me me change

To something better.

But if by a gentle flame

I'm blasted,

I'll become the best

Popcorn you've tasted.

Some people are like

Popcorn too.

With an outside shell

That's hard to get through.

But if you take

The time to care,

You'll discover

the potential hidden there.

Through unselfish service

You help others grow,

By taking the time

To let your love show.

Years ago, there was a very wealthy man who, with his devoted young son, shared a passion for art collecting. Together they traveled around the world, adding only the finest art treasures to their collection. Priceless works by Picasso, Van Gogh, Monet and many others adorned the walls of the family estate. The widowed elder man looked on with satisfaction as his only child became an experienced art collector. The son's trained eye and sharp business mind caused his father to beam with pride as they dealt with art collectors around the world. As winter approached, war engulfed the nations, and the young man left to serve his country. After only a few short weeks, his father received a telegram. His beloved son was missing in action. The art collector anxiously awaited more news, fearing he would never see his son again.

Withing days, his fears were confirmed. The young man died while rushing a fellow soldier to a medic. Distraught and lonely, the old man faced the upcoming Christmas holidays with anguish and sadness. The joy of the season, that he and his son had so looked forward to, would visit his house no longer. On Christmas morning, a knock on the door awakened the depressed, old man. As he walked to the door, the masterpieces of art on the walls only reminded him that his son was not coming home. As he opened the door, he was greeted by a soldier with a large package in his hands.

He introduced himself to the man by saying, "I was a friend of your son. I was the one he was rescuing when he died. May I come in for a few moments? I have something to show you." As the two began to talk the soldier told of how the man's son had told everyone of his, not to mention his fathers', love of fine art. "I am an artist," said the soldier, "and I want to give you this." As the old man unwrapped the package, the paper gave way to reveal a portrait of the man's son. Though the world would never consider it the work of a genius, the painting featured the young man's face in striking detail. Overcome with emotion, the man thanked the soldier, promising to hang the picture above the fireplace, pushing aside thousands of dollars worth of art. His task complete, the old man sat in his chair and spent Christmas gazing at the gift he had been given.

During the days and weeks that followed, the man realized that even though his son was no longer with him, the boy's life would live on because of those he had touched. He would soon learn that his son had rescued dozens of wounded soldiers before a bullet stilled his caring heart.

As the stories of his son's gallantry continued to reach him, fatherly pride and satisfaction began to ease grief. The painting of his son soon became his most prized possession, far eclipsing any interest in the pieces for which museums around the world clamored. He told his neighbors it was the greatest gift he had ever received. The following spring, the old man became ill and passed away. The art world was in anticipation, that with the collector's passing, and his only son dead, those paintings would be sold at auction. According to the will of the old man, all of the works would be auctioned on Christmas Day, the day he had received the greatest gift. the day soon arrived and art collectors from around the world gathered to bid on some of the world's most spectacular paintings. Dreams would be fulfilled this day; greatness would be achieved as many would claim, "I have the greatest collection."

The auction began with a painting that was on on any museum's list. It was the painting of the man's son. The auctioneer asked for an opening bid, but the room was silent. "Who will open the bidding with $100?" he asked. Minutes passed, and no one spoke. From the back of the room came a voice, "Who cares about that painting? It's just a picture of his son." "Let's forget about it and move on to the good stuff." more voices echoed in agreement.

"No, we have to sell this one first," replied the auctioneer. "No, who will take the son?"

Finally, a neighbor of the old man spoke. "Will you take ten dollars for the painting? That's all I have. I knew the boy, so I'd like to have it."

"I have ten dollars. Will anyone go higher?" called the auctioneer. After more silence, the auctioneer said, "Going once, going twice, gone."

The gavel fell. Cheers filled the room and someone exclaimed, "Now we can get on with it and we can bid on the real treasures!" The auctioneer looked at the audience and announced that the auction was over. Stunned disbelief quieted the room. Someone spoke up and asked, "what do you mean it's over? We didn't come here for a picture of some old guy's son. What about all of these paintings? There are millions of dollars worth of art here! I demand that you explain what is going on!"

The auctioneer replied, "It's very simple. According to the will of the father, whoever takes the son...gets it all."

HUGS

It's wonderful what a hug can do.

A hug can cheer you when you're blue.

A hug can say, "I love you so!"

Or, "Gee, I hate to see you go!"

A hug is "Welcome back again!"

and, "Great to see you!" or

"Where've you been?"

A hug can soothe a small child's pain

And bring a rainbow after rain.

The hug! There's just no doubt about it,

We scarcely could survive without it.

A hug delights and warms and charms,

It must be why God gave us arms.

Hugs are great for fathers and mothers,

Sweet for sisters, swell for brothers,

And chances are some favorite aunts

Love them more than potted plants.

Kittens crave them, puppies love them.

Heads of state are not above them.

A hug can break the language barrier

And make your travels so much merrier.

No need to fret about your store of 'em.

The more you give,

The more there's more of 'em.

So stretch those arms without delay

And give someone a hug today!

"Through Joseph Smith have been restored all the powers, keys, teachings, and ordinances necessary for salvation and exaltation. You cannot go anywhere else in the world and get that." (Tad R. Callister, "Joseph Smith - Prophet of the Restoration," Ensign, November 2009)

"For most, repentance is more a journey than a one-time event. It is not easy. To change is difficult. It requires running into the wind, swimming upstream... Repentance is turning away from some things, such as dishonesty, pride, anger, and impure thoughts and turning toward other things, such as kindness, unselfishness, patience, and spirituality. It is 're-turning' toward God." (Neil L. Anderson, "Repent... That I May Heal You," Ensign, November 2009)

“When the time for decision arrives, the time for preparation is past.” (Thomas S. Monson, "Decisions Determine Destiny," New Era, Nov. 1979)

"If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly." (Thomas S. Monson. "Finding Joy in the Journey," Ensign, November 2008)

"We increase our love for our Heavenly Father and demonstrate that love by aligning our thoughts and actions with God's word. His pure love directs and encourages us to become more pure and holy. It inspires us to walk in righteousness - not out of fear or obligation but out of an earnest desire to become even more like Him because we love Him." (Deiter F. Uchtdorf. "The Love of God," Ensign, November 2009, 23)

"Often we assume that the people around us must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know...We will never regret the kind words spoken of or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us." (Thomas S. Monson. "Finding Joy in the Journey," Ensign, Nov. 2008, 86)